Three ways to become a happier Yes! mom

Did you read the post on Three steps to discovering and encouraging your child’s strengths and talents?

Were you all in until you got to the part about gathering materials and creating space?

Did your inner fear goblin grab your silly little “yes self” and shout, “You FOOL! Don’t you know where this will lead?”, while rolling out a live action movie featuring a glue and glitter adorned chicken dinner and free-wheeling gymnastic legs crashing through the television?

STOP.

Toss that mental image in the trash and follow me.

There is a way to encourage your children, for you to say yes, with a voice and heart brimming with happiness, enthusiasm and generosity.

Change your perspective to change how you feel

I realize that for some of you this might be paradigm shifting without a clutch, but stay with me.

What is it about providing the space, time and/or materials for your child to bloom that brings out your inner naysayer?

The mess? The bother? The potential damage?

Let’s see how we can view that in a different way.

When the girls were little and helped with chores, we decided that word-chores-tended to suck the energy right out of us. We changed it so every week we were polishing the house. We talked about how we may not like to vacuum and do dishes and clean bathrooms, but we loved how a clean house looked, smelled so fresh and was so inviting. We chose to concentrate on what we wanted and did our best to keep that clean house feeling right at the forefront of our senses.

We changed our language and found a way to view our cleaning in a more optimistic way, finding a more positive vein of emotion into which we could tap.

If you move your point of view slightly, what is it you would like for your children? What makes your heart sing with pride and joy? To help them gain fine motor skills? Enjoy the thrill of creativity? To learn how to do and also how not to do things? To encourage their inner artist/musician/writer/speaker/leader?

Sometimes mentally moving forward in time provides just the kick you need. Imagine yourself five years, ten years from now, looking back on these activities. What will you wish you had done? Situations tend to look quite different viewed through the hindsight of a future lens.

Whatever you discover, the feeling is where you need to fix your focus when you step forward in this new adventure.

Find a bright spot to follow

Why reinvent the wheel? Just find someone who is already doing what you want to do.

If there is a mom you know whose joyful spirit is where you would like yours to be, get together with her and find out what she believes and how she puts it into practice. Be brave. Make the call. Moms love to share advice and encouragement. They know how tough parenting can be. Be kind and forgiving as you give permission to yourself to test these new ideas. And remember to breathe. And pray.

Are there sites you visit that show the way? Head over with an open mind and spirit to see what tips you can pick up. The Power of Moms shares ideas in their Fun category. The Parent Show on the PBS website also has helpful, actionable ideas and links to lots more.

Break in an idea or two at a time. It will give you a chance to dip your toes in the water of change, tweak the process as you add more items, and keep your ship upright.

Shape the path

These three ideas, especially this last one, are inspired or pulled from Switch-How to Change Things When Change is Hard, a fascinating book by brothers Chip and Dan Heath, on the psychology of and simple steps to creating change. They contend that each of us has a metaphorical emotional Elephant side who must be motivated, a rational Rider side who needs to be directed, and a path to be shaped so that we can “rally the herd” to travel where we want them-and ourselves-to go.

So how do you shape the path in your home?

Make sure it is kid friendly, since you have children. Recognize that exploration and creativity are an important and exciting part of childhood. Set up areas purposely for these activities. Again, you can check with friends, books and the internet for solutions. Remember to keep your joyful and curious heart firmly in place.

Over at The Chuppies, blogger and mom Kara wrote: If You Tend To Be A “No” Mom… (Fun Ideas And Resources For Moms Part 1–Around The House) . She has done a terrific job shaping the path at her home and shares photos along with her resources. I highly recommend checking out her post for ideas you can implement or use as jumping off points for your own situation. I also am grateful to her for the inspiration for this post.

So, it’s time to kick that little goblin of fear out of your head, and replace him with a confident, loving mom who enjoys saying Yes! because she delights in the imaginative play that happens when she does.

Please share: How do you practice being a happy Yes! mom? Would you share something you do so you can help other moms?

Linking today with No Ordinary Blog Hop