Praying in the midst of a storm

Have you ever had a friend or relative suggest prayer-gasp!-as a means of helping you find your way out of the depths of a personal storm?

Uh huh.

I’m sure you practically bit your tongue off so you didn’t drive them out of your life forever welcomed that suggestion with open arms.

Prayer? Really?

I remember thinking prayer was for the really pious, for the cute little old white haired, perfectly manicured ladies who went to Mass a hundred times a week.

That you needed to be religious, that it was a by rote kind of thing that you memorized and repeated, neatly, perfectly.

That it was just to make you feel better, a foolish exercise in futility.

I never ever considered it was something I would want or need in my reasonably comfortable but sometimes messy and unkempt life.

I believed in God, but I didn’t go to church, and the idea that God would actually listen to me was, well, pretty far-fetched and ridiculous.

Besides, I’m independent. If I want a situation to change, for instance, if I want a fulfilling life and marriage, then it’s up to me to make it happen.

I have to ask everyone: How’s that working for you? I know how it worked for me.

It didn’t.

I have discovered a lot about prayer in the last few years and I’d like to share it with you in the hopes that you will be encouraged to give it a whirl, and maybe even consider making it a part of your life.

Really, what have you got to lose at this point?

Prayer is not a one way conversation.

“Listen, God. You know my husband is a jerk. Well,  fine, he’s not so much a jerk but someone who’s really really hard to love sometimes. He could be so much better! Let me show you what I had planned for him.

{Sound of miles of blueprint rolling out across the table, onto the floor and into the next county}

I saw the potential when I married him. He was like clay, waiting to be formed into the perfect husband by me! Now that we’ve been married for a while he just doesn’t seem to care.  He doesn’t help much around the house, he never notices how I spend time to look nice for him, he doesn’t bring me gifts, he never hugs me unless he wants something more and he NEVER listens to what I say.

He’s a different guy Lord, and so now you need to change him.

Let me know when he’s fixed. Bye!”

You have to lift up the button so you can listen.

Gulp.

I know it might be a little hard to wrap your head around the fact that when you decide to test drive a little prayer you’ll actually want to stop talking and start listening.

Remember how we played with walkie-talkies when we were little? Think of it as a little like those conversations. While it was wonderful to have the floor and talk endlessly at your friend, truth be told it was never much fun unless you lifted the button so your buddy could respond.

He will answer.

You can count on that.

It might not be today or tomorrow. It might take longer than you want.

You will get an answer, though.

It will be yes, no, or not now.

Pretty simple, huh?

You just might not get what you ask for.

Yikes. What?

Why in the world would I pray if God isn’t going to give me what I ask for?

It’s human nature that we’d like prayer to be as easy as going through a fast food drive-through. You place your order with an angel, and then God cheerfully meets you at the window, hands you your goodies and as he sends you off with a loving smile and a wave, reminds you to come back soon.

You know what happens when you drive away and start digging through your bag?

It’s not what you ordered.

Surprise!

God is often like that.

He loves you and knows you inside and out and gives you what you need, even if it wasn’t what you ordered.

For instance, I had prayed for almost two years to have my husband’s employer recognize and utilize his untapped skills, and of course compensate him accordingly for them as well.

A couple of months ago my dear hubbie came home with very exciting news-he had been offered a promotion that sounded tailor made for his talents!

Then he opened the bag so I could see the amazing answer to my prayers.

Inside was all I had prayed for and more.

Just like getting a burger with all the toppings when I ordered only ketchup.

We have to move? From our family, our dear friends, our beloved church? And it is on second shift?

Drat.

And then I laughed.

Because I’ve been down this road before and have had past prayers answered in similarly unexpected ways, and have found that every single time it ended up being way better than what I had asked for.

I just had to be open to the possibilities and be willing to trust.

It’s about having the courage to admit weakness

There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting you need help.

Nothing.

We look for help in so many different ways every day that we probably don’t even recognize the weakness behind our requests.

We search on the internet for an answer to a problem.

We go to a hardware store for advice on how to fix something.

We take our car to the mechanic for repairs.

Do you dismiss these resources out of hand because it shows how weak you are?

Of course not.

You just keep looking for and testing solutions to your problems until you find what works.

Prayer is simply one more tool in your bag.

There isn’t anything magical about the process.

You just have to start.

When you are alone in your car.

Before you fall asleep at night.

Anywhere you can find a slice of time just to chat with Him.

Remember that He loves you and misses you and is excited to hear from you.

Not sure where to start?

Here’s a prayer that I have found particularly powerful.

I heard this at a Family Life Weekend to Remember marriage getaway (highly recommended!) and it goes something like this:

Lord, I know {my hubbie} and I are worlds apart right now on {this subject}. I think {this is the right way to go} and he thinks {we need to do this}. I pray for you to change his heart or mine so that we can live in unity again.

Wherever, however you begin, just open your heart to speak, to share, to cry, to yell, to be angry, to ask for guidance, wisdom, strength, patience-whatever it is you need.

It’s that simple.

Please share-Have you just started to pray? Need some encouragement? Let us know how we can help.

Note-My hope is that this post provides yet another resource for those in the midst of a stormy marriage. The previous posts can be found here:

Rescuing your marriage by looking back from the future

Rescuing your marriage-reaching for resources

Sharing at No Ordinary Blog Hop

Image credit-Craig Allen

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