Never alone

Sunlight through clouds © K. Hall

Ever have one of those weeks where everyone and everything seems to be against you, where it feels like all the lights just go out and you are just left to fend for yourself? The refrigerator stops working, your kids are all mad at you-again, and you are sure your friends and co-workers are all conspiring against you?

I was driving to work a while ago in the midst of one of those periods, and the morning was very gray, cold and cloudy. It reminded me of recent days, when my life just hadn’t gone smoothly at all. I was feeling weak, downcast, and dark. And alone.

Since having a very sunny disposition is my normal state, but knowing deep down that I was just indulging in my own private pity party, I quickly added guilt to my growing stack of negativity. After all, what good is a tall tower of pessimism without a generous topping of guilt?

Knowing intellectually that I had lots to feel good about and much more for which to be grateful was all well and fine, but finding my way back there emotionally was another thing entirely.

Because my resources in the car were limited, I reached for the first thing I could lay my hands on: my ipod. I plugged it in to the dash, turned it on, and put it on shuffle mode.

“Never Alone”, by Barlow Girl, poured out of my speakers, and tears of gratitude slid down my face.

I had let my sour, sullen skyscraper throw a huge shadow over my inner light, and make me believe that I had shut it off. In fact, I realized that the light is not mine to extinguish, as it is the light of God, shining through me, showing the way, providing warmth and grace and forgiveness to me, no matter where I am, no matter if I am behaving well or not, no matter if I feel worthy of His grace.

Are you are feeling alone or thinking that your world has gone dark?

I lovingly invite you to open the door to God’s light within and bask in His love, for you really are never alone, even if you have never known a relationship with Him.