Joining Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama today for her Five Minute Friday topic of loss. I invite you to read, comment, and join us with your thoughts.
Five minute Friday: Loss
The minutes tick by, as I sit quietly in the car as my dear hubbie drives, heading for the nearest city to do some last minute Christmas shopping. The snow is falling fast, in huge flakes that pile up on the branches like delicious dollops of frosting on a cake, and I think to myself that I should have brought my camera along to capture the beauty.
My mind isn’t really on the snow, really, or on the photographic possibilities, or on the shopping, for that matter, even though we are just days away from December 25.
You see, we had been working on a Sunday, which was highly unusual, when heard my phone beep with an incoming text. Curious who would be messaging me early on a weekend, I pulled out my phone to check. My sister had texted me that our dear Gram-my mom’s mom-had passed away that morning.
She was gone.
After trying to process the fact that she was really gone and doing my best to keep from breaking down, I went over to Keith, as we worked together at that time, and showed him my phone. Fortunately, we were nearing time to leave, so I just went to my area, feeling shell-shocked and numb, and started to gather my stuff.
One of the gals I worked with inquired what was up, and I answered that my grandmother had passed away. In spite of my best efforts, my tears began, and my coworker and the others expressed their sympathy.
We left, and even though I was not feeling like it, decided we had to stick with our original plan of finishing up our holiday to-do’s
As I sat in the car idly staring out at the snow, I would swing from being in control, to thinking about Gram in a rational way, that she was in heaven now and no longer was trapped in a body was painful and that didn’t function well, then predictably to deeply missing her, and wishing I had spent more time talking, sharing, writing and just spending time with her.
I have written about this before, a couple of times, here and here.
I think often of her, and think I am beyond the tears, only to find that sometimes-like when I write about her-my missing her bubbles up to the surface. In spite of my grief, I am grateful for knowing her and having her in my life for so long.
So, as always, dear readers, I remind you to let those in your world know they are important to you. Spend the time. Live. Laugh. Love. Gather the joy. Make time for what is really important.
Spending a few months with my own grandmother recently has heightened my awareness of the reality of loss, and of life. What amazes me is how quickly the daily urgencies make me forget the true importance of the time we have in each moment. Thankful for reminders that do come, such as what I wrote here: http://annajouj.wordpress.com/2011/06/22/in-earth/
And thankful today for your post to remind me of what I had forgotten already
Thank you for sharing from the depths of your heart. You’re right, a word spoken, a moment cherished, a memory made – nothing can surpass those things. Blessings on you!