Doing different, Stamina Challenge Day 4, and time to tell my story

I must admit to being completely stumped when I read today’s challenge:

Break your routine – Drive a new way to work. Stop at a different place for coffee. Lock your cell phone in your trunk as you drive. Listen to a different station the whole way in; don’t change the channel during a commercial break. Order something completely off the wall for lunch. Brush your teeth with the non-dominant hand. Run or exercise to someone else’s play list.

Different? I need to do different? Are you kidding?

This is really pretty funny, because what hit me was that the last eight months have been all about me doing different.

I’ve moved so far out of my comfort zone I don’t even know where all the edges are anymore.

I am in such a different place I don’t recognize any of the landmarks and am finding my way forward daily.

Joyfully. Wholeheartedly. Purposefully.

So let’s talk about different.

Like so many folks, I have never truly felt a deep satisfaction with my work. While I am very good at what I do, no matter where I was employed, that feeling of general dissatisfaction would begin to roll back in, much like the rising tide, washing over me, leaving me gasping for air, and I would wonder again why I just couldn’t be happy at my work.

I just figured it was me wanting more than a job could possibly offer.

That I was ungrateful.

That I just needed to put up and shut up.

Then, something happened.

Well, more like a series of somethings that flowed into my life.

Some time ago, we had taken Financial Peace University and had wrestled, roped and tied our financial lives into submission.

Something began to tug at me

Following that, this past winter, I began to feel a tug, a whisper that I needed to leave my job.

Of course, I ignored it. I assumed it was the long, cold gray days of January just making me restless.

Nope.

I would sit in the quiet of my morning prayers, and His voice would come, gently inviting me to entertain the possibility of something better if I was just willing to let go of what I had.

My inner doubting Thomas refused to consider the idea, instead conjuring up all the reasons it would be sheer folly.

One night, though, I remembered learning in FPU about Dan Miller’s book, 48 Days to the Work You Love.

I got the book, and started to get excited about what Miller said was within reach for each of us: “meaningful, purposeful and profitable work”. He also wrote, “Follow this step-by-step process, and you’ll see your dreams come to life and experience the exhilarating joy of doing work that releases your passions and strongest abilities.”

Wow.

Exhilarating joy.

Releasing my passions and strongest abilities.

I joined his community at 48Days, and joined a group as well, Finding Your Voice, whose focus was “Helping you find your authenticity in work and in life.”

I began to work Miller’s 48 Day Plan, even going so far as to share it with both of our daughters so that we could travel down this road together. (Just can’t keep a good thing to myself, as my family will tell you…)

Then I met my nemesis. . .

the time span of Day 17-19, in which I was supposed to figure out the work that blended my “skills and abilities, personality traits, and dreams and passions”, and then list 30-40 organizations to which I could apply.

I went to the library, and scoured the resources, to no avail.

I couldn’t see anything. I just couldn’t find a fit. Anywhere.

I. Was. Crushed.

I went home, completely defeated and hopeless, and went to bed, in full fetal position, crying myself to sleep.

In spite of my discouragement, I continued to pray, and His soothing voice continued to invite me to something better.

And then…Plip. The sound of another ripple in my pond and a small wave upon my shore.

I had heard a podcast between Dan Miller and a life and career coach named Joel Boggess, and later sent Joel a question via email. One message led to another, and I found myself agreeing to chat with him in regards to where I was and where I wanted to be.

Oh, that call.

I paced. And paced. Back and forth, in our small space.

Because it helps me think. Because it helps me release stress. Because it helps me get to the kleenex when I get emotional.

Joel skillfully and carefully asked questions, gradually zeroing in on that very tender spot, asking what I might find if I really searched inside myself.

With much trepidation, I mentally opened those doors to rummage around to see what was in that cupboard.

And  fear  put its steely fingers around my chest and squeezed until I couldn’t breathe, because I imagined that there was really nothing there.

Just dusty dreams, worn out hopes and unrealized goals.

Possibilities that had lost their potential to ever be launched by me.

No real skills, nothing of any lasting value, much like the stuff we dump into our kitchen’s junk drawers.

Run! The floodgates had been thrown open!

Run for kleenex. Lots and lots of kleenex. And try to sound normal in between the sobs.

Joel suggested a different perspective, that, perhaps, there was indeed lots to be found there, and I just needed a little assistance in learning how to see it.

I became a client, and spent many exciting and demanding weeks excavating my strengths and building a vision.

He interviewed me three times over the course of my journey, and interviewed my oldest daughter as well in regards to the ripple effect on the family. If you’d like to give a listen, you can find the podcasts at these links:

 If I look inside, will I find anything there?

It has to trip my trigger

A daughter’s perspective: “It jump started our whole family.”

A more powerful version of her

I continued to pray for grace, for being joyful at and thankful for my day job, at which I could continue until I was doing something profitable, working in my strengths, building the life I want around the work I love.

I Prayed. Lots.

Still, though, God was being more assertive, driving me forward, encouraging me to walk in faith, reminding me He had big plans for me, and that I needed leave my job now, not later. I actually felt that I had been fighting His wishes for a long time, knowing that I was fearful about money. Finally, I threw up my hands during prayer and asked God to tell me what He wanted me to do through Keith, my husband, as I didn’t trust my own instincts any longer.

I asked, and He answered. That. Very. Day.

Several times. In a big way. Through Keith and a few other folks. In a no-nonsense, here-is my-plan-for-you way.

I gave my month’s notice that week, and am now thriving in my second week of doing what I love: Empowering moms by connecting them with resources and information to help them build stronger and more satisfying relationships in their lives.

What does that look like? To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure and I’m still finding my way. I know it involves writing, and will involve speaking and podcasting as well. It also involves prayer, and listening, and being faith-full, as in Hebrews 11:1: Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.

Different? You bet.

Scary? Oh, yeah.

A break in my routine? Can you say “paradigm shift without a clutch”?

Would I trade it to return to my old status quo?

Absolutely not.

I encourage you to do something different and stretch your boundaries, and share with us how it goes. You just never know where it will lead!

If you would like to join us on this challenge, you can start here anytime: 7 Day Stamina Challenge Day 1

Questions: What one thing can you do different today that will move you closer to where you want to be?