Family Traditions-Small is the new big

One of the best kept secrets, unfortunately, is that very often the opportunities to develop the most treasured traditions are those we may overlook, as we view them solely as run-of-the-mill, smaller, inexpensive, less memorable moments.

Often times, instead, I think we all lean towards the “bigger is better” theory of life, and apply that to anything we earnestly designate as an “Official Tradition.” Therefore, our inclination is to make the Magical Mouse Kingdom our destination for our yearly family vacation, and barring that, then something Mr. Mouse-like in its cost and execution. We may opt for a two-week stay at a four star resort, at a cost of more than two-months salary, and assume that to even consider doing less is to take on the mantle of being the absolute worst parents on the planet.

We apply this same theory to the common tradition of getting together at Christmas and raining gifts on each other, and especially on our children. After all, conventional wisdom says that the memorability of the holiday is directly proportional to the amount of money spent. We head out to spend more than we should on toys and gadgets our children will break, grow out of, or leave in the closet, forlorn and forgotten, long before the credit card debt is paid.

Obviously, I am not of the “more money equals a better tradition” mindset. I’m not against spending money to take amazing trips or buy the gift of a lifetime. I am against going into debt, spending money on fun stuff instead of fully funding the emergency fund, and I am especially against the assumption that spending lots of money takes the place of or equals quality time with children.

That being said, I love traditions. Often they blend seamlessly into our days, bringing us a sense of joy and belonging and creating stories that never grow old in the re-telling, as we share them with one another and also with the younger generation, eliciting much laughter and shaking of heads. These traditions may grow and change with our family, or they may be more like a season, to be enjoyed for the sweet and short time they are here. We may wrap them in blankets for a bedtime read-aloud, lay out a place for them at our casual pizza nights or write stories through them in our pillow journals.

When we think about our childhood, we need to harken back to our fond memories. Was there a farm with seasonal activities like sugaring? A new first day of school outfit? Were there walks to school? Annual photo taking by a grandparent? Well worn trails that saw regular hikes? Skating or sliding on Christmas Day? Camp scrapbooks to fill? Homemade ice cream to crank? Blinding lights and Super 8 movies being made on the holidays?

I invite a perusal through the short list below, and see if some of these traditions have a familiar ring. If so-fantastic!-keep on with them. If not, I encourage starting one today, simply, inexpensively, without a lot of fanfare, and see where it leads.

Tradition Ideas

Pick a weeknight and make it family “relax with pizza and conversation” night

Pick a weeknight and make it a snacky-type dinner night and a movie

Make funny face pancakes on the weekend

Bake cookies together before a special celebration

Schedule “before school” breakfasts at regular intervals throughout the year

Choose a favorite movie and watch it every year around a holiday

Read out loud at bedtime, and if the kids are able to read, move up to books that they can take turns reading out loud as well

Sing a song at bedtime, lullaby or other

Set a regular date and time to have people over for a board/card game night

Set a regular date and time to have people over for dinner-consider potluck if that makes it more appealing

Once a year, go somewhere, just for a day or an event: the beach, a mountaintop to watch the sun rise, an amusement park, a state park, whale watching, an outdoor concert, white water rafting, a historical site, a county fair

Visit the location where the proposal, engagement or marriage took place-pack a lunch, have dinner or stay the weekend

Have the grandkids over one at a time, for an afternoon, weekend, or for a trip

Set up Skype and schedule regular chats with far-flung friends and family

Take individual pictures of the kids once a month, and put them into a scrapbook

Commit to sitting down together for dinner a certain number of nights per week.

At dinner, have each person share the low and high point of their day

At dinner have each person share one interesting thing they learned today

Enjoy picnics at favorite locations, or even in the living room if the weather is inclement

Create/choose a recipe-homemade rolls, fried chicken, banana cream pie, etc-for special occasions-birthdays, holidays, picnics, and make it just for those times

Sign up the family to volunteer regularly-food pantry, soup kitchen, helping a neighbor, mowing lawns, shoveling snow, wherever you can help

Start a journal and have family members contribute a page, a thought, a drawing, a photo once a month

Remember-the sky is the limit here, and these are just a few suggestions to get things rolling.

What traditions have brought joy to you and your family?

********************

Our lives are woven of the strong threads of our experiences, of hard work and leisure,  joy and sorrow, of faith and hope, that interlace with unconditional love to create a rich tapestry, gloriously iridescent with our many traditions and favorite memories.

********************

Just a glimpse at something we have done over time: We have several group portraits of us kids, mostly casual, and they are priceless. Remember: any photograph captured is better than one missed because we were waiting to afford “real” portraits, or to learn how to take better pictures. Arrrghhh. Sorry-personal pet peeve alert. Remember: It’s about the moments and relationships you capture that otherwise would disappear forever!

Casual family portrait-7 siblings

The 7 Siblings-well, didn’t we clean up nice?

Sharing at Mommifried #LOBS

Did you enjoy this article?

Sign up for updates and get my FREE ebook: Practicing Gratitude and Discovering Joy Just imagine. . .Responding with gratitude rather than grumbling, and enjoying more happiness and contentment. And rest assured I won't share your address!