Father’s Day is right around the corner, so show you care: buy, buy, buy!
The bigger and more expensive the gift, the better you look.
Oops, I mean the more appreciative the recipient will be.
I don’t know about you, but I grow so weary of the messages about spending a lot and buying big to make ourselves and others happy.
They don’t.
More often they lead to an overstuffed home, an empty bank account, and a longing for something more joyful and meaningful in our lives.
To that end, I wrote a guide to gift-giving.
It’s not one of those “Must-have gifts lists” that contain lots of items you don’t really need.
It’s a list that draws you to the heart of your giving and invites you to examine the heart and habits of your recipient for clues.
I’ve listed the basics below, but I elaborate a bit further on each at the original post:
10 Rules for Delightful Gift Giving
1. Understand that what is important to you is not necessarily important to them
2. Meet your loved ones where they are
3. Just because you love crafts doesn’t mean they’ll love your creation
4. Make sure the gift is sized appropriately for the recipient.
5. Be aware of the why that drives your giving
6. Be comfortable with your choices
7. Look to their love language for clues
8. Listen closely year round
9. Be a cheerful giver
10. Expect nothing in return
I especially love #1, as I have been guilty of giving what I think is important. Apparently, I inherited this from my mom. Thanks, and love you lots anyway.
After this post originally appeared, my dad, with his signature grin, quoted this first rule to my mom more than once. Who knew it was applicable to more than gift giving? Thanks, Dad. It means the world to me that you quote me.
Sometimes the occasion just calls for something strikingly simple: Your words.
They rank as probably one of the most treasured gifts you will ever give or receive.
They are also a great fit for Father’s Day, especially if you are working on a tight budget.
I wrote previously about my husband’s experience giving his words to his dad, and today I am sharing the touching story with you again.
The awesome power of the handwritten word seems to be in direct contradiction with its often plain and homespun appearance. It can reach deep into our hearts to bring forth joy, laughter, hope and love.
A wrinkled, grubby scrap of paper, inscribed with our child’s first handwritten words fills our heart to bursting with pride.
A message of appreciation from our boss, jotted on a sticky note and tacked to our desk, reminds us that what we do matters.
Short and sweet words of encouragement tucked into a family member’s lunchbox delights and uplifts in mid-day.
Do not underestimate the power of the handwritten word to touch someone now, and then much later, reach across time and take your breath away.
Many years ago, my hubbie decided to write a letter to his dad, Marshall, for Father’s Day. We had become parents of a premature baby girl in January of that year, and had gained a new perspective and much greater respect for our parents. Funny how that works. . .
Keith put his blue pen to an unadorned piece of lined notebook paper, and poured out a simple message of love and gratitude to his very straightforward, what-you-see-is-what-you-get, old school dad.
I don’t remember Keith writing or giving this present, nor do I recall Marshall’s reaction. What I do know now, however, is this: Keith’s dad carefully folded up that note, and carried it with him, in his wallet, for the twelve remaining years of his life.
Twelve. Years.
We possess this gift now, as Keith’s mom gave it to us, in all its mildly tattered and much-loved condition. I came across it yesterday as we were organizing and repacking some of our stuff, and tears suddenly welled up, as I was struck by how much it meant to my father-in-law.
How incredibly grateful I am that Keith was able to let his dad know what he meant to him, and how deeply touched we both were, so many years later, when we learned how much Marshall treasured that priceless gift.
What message do you need to share with someone in your life, especially your Dad? A note of thanks, support, humor or love? Grab a pen and some paper, and write it today.
Remember that this humble gift is equally appropriate for your hubbie, who is also a dad. 
Do you need an extra jump start? Fawn of the Happy Wives Club detailed poignant 5 Minute Exercise, and it will really get you thinking.
Question: Do you have a story of triumph or about a good idea gone wrong about a Father’s Day gift? Please join in the comments!
Sharing at NOBH, Happy Wives Club, Soli Deo Gloria
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My husband is always telling me he misses the “love letters” I used to write to him when we were dating. Funny how that practice went by the wayside.
Thanks for this poignant reminder, Kim. I was just asking my hubby what he wanted for Father’s Day and he didn’t have an answer. So your words are much needed! Thanks, sweet friend!
Oh, isn’t it nice your husband is letting you know how he feels loved? Yes, the romantic things we do in those halcyon early days do seem to fall by the wayside. . . Glad you found ideas here, Beth! Just love having you come to visit.
Twitter: TamaraCamPhoto
says:
As the previous commenter said, I used to write pages upon pages of love notes and emails and cards. Somewhere along the line that got swallowed up along with other forms of regular romance. I’m not proud of this. Maybe I should whisk him off his feet this Father’s Day with a card and a home cooked meal! He’d be shocked and I’m not proud of that.
Tamara recently posted…Break It Down Again.
Oh, Tamara, I hear you loud and clear. However, I am cheering you on from here, girl: do it! You can lead up to the day, too, with little sticky notes here and there, little hearts and “I love you’s”. No need to beat yourself up. Just move forward and let your hubbie know how much he matters to you! Remember you are not alone-it’s something we can all fall victim to. If you missed this guest post I wrote, check it out: Taking Him for Granted or With Gratitude, http://www.findingheaventoday.com/2012/12/close-enough-to-forget-taking-him-for.html
Such a great reminder! I even right a heartfelt letter to my hubby today and sent it in his email. He texted me and said that, “You made me so happy!” My heart also skips knowing my husband appreciate it so much. I could attest that our words are important for our spouse. They feel loved and valued so make every moment counts.
Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club Link Up.
Mai Bateson recently posted…Marriage Mondays: 5 Reasons You Should Have a Marriage Mentor {& Link Up}
How sweet, Mai! Thanks for sharing. I think it’s good for other wives to see that written words to our husbands do matter. Thanks for visiting from Happy Wives Club!
Twitter: missindeedy
says:
I loved the reminder to listen closely and all year round. And, oh! For the power of the handwritten word. I find that the gifts both my father and my husband enjoy the most are the ones that I have truly taken time to get right – or to create. A photo calendar is one that never gets old for either of them!
Missy recently posted…Weekend Review
You are so right about a photo calendar! My mom still has one my sister made for her years ago! We made a new one this year, and she is loving on that, too. Glad you found useful information here, and thanks for sharing the suggestion of a photo calendar. You never know who will use your idea for inspiration!
Twitter: fiercedivablog
says:
I think whether we are giving an actual gift, or giving of ourselves to a friend or family member, your advice for giving is key. It’s great when we can truly meet people where they are at and not expect anything in return, and when we can give in this way, we always feel good.
Ilene recently posted…If Only
Beautifully said, Ilene! They are happy and so are we. WIN! Thanks for coming by in the midst of your moving preparations. Hope they are going smoothly!
Twitter: susanrstilwell
says:
Those 10 rules are great, Kim. I love sending handwritten notes and cards. Those meant so much to me when I was recovering from my surgeries. To think that someone took the time to write something, look up my address and buy a stamp — priceless!
Susan Stilwell recently posted…Graffiti Summer – Share Your Story
That is a great point, Susan! Texting, emailing and even calling are pretty quick and simple. But to get a card, buy a stamp, address & mail: priceless! Thanks for sharing. Consider me encouraged, as there is someone I know suffering today from a recent job loss. Card will be in the mail today! I hope others are encouraged by your words as well.
Dear Kim
Oh, I can just imagine how precious that gift was to your dad! If I were to receive such a gift from my sons, I would also cherish it forever. My youngest son once went to the grocery shop for me. When he returned he gave me a bunch of orange cotton tulips that he bought with my money for he thought it would cheer me up as I was quite ill with Fm/CFS. I don’t like cotton flowers, but that is still one of my most prized posessions.
Blessings
Mia
Mia recently posted…Desert Snippets
What a sweet thing for your son to do. You have done a great job with him! I’ve always said that we keep that which is most precious, which tends to be homemade cards, and little gifts like the one from your son because they remind us of the love with which they were given. Thanks for sharing how important small gestures can be, Mia!
Twitter: HappyWivesClub
says:
You and I are so alike, Kim. I’m guilty of that #1 as well and have had to learn how to choose gifts not based on what I would like and listen to the heart of others. I’ve gotten much, much better over the years as I listen out all year long for little things a person mentions (and if all else fails, I’ll call a mutual friend/family member who might have a better idea of what I should get :)).
Fawn Weaver recently posted…Marriage Mondays: 5 Reasons You Should Have a Marriage Mentor {& Link Up}
Good to know I’m not alone in fighting against giving what I want, rather than what they want. Thanks for stopping by, Fawn. Always appreciate your point of view!
Love this, Kim. Gifts are NOT AT ALL my love language!! So I’m especially grateful for those who teach me how to gift well. xoxo
I am with you there, Sarah! My family took the Love Language test, and I think Gifts was down at the bottom for all of us. It has been a struggle for me, too. Glad to help, and I hope your next gift giving occasion goes well! Thanks for joining me today!
Twitter: Soulstops
says:
Dear Kim,
Does this mean your house sold? Should I keep praying? What a loving tribute about how Marshall kept Keith’s note for 12 years…wow! Hubby loves a special meal and a card from our girl…she promised to bake him cookies, his request…Hugs to you
Dolly recently posted…How do you see like God?
Not yet, Dolly, although we’ve seen a lot of interest of late. Yup, keep praying, because once we sell, there is the move and new house to take care of. What a sweet idea between your hubby and daughter. I love memories as a gift. How sweet—and tasty—a special meal will be! Blessings and hugs back!
Twitter: jollynotes
says:
Great reminders!:)! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for taking the time to say hi. Glad you enjoyed this!
Twitter: jenfergie2000
says:
I love your perspective and practical advice. And I miss so much of it sometimes. I am subscribing today!
Jen Ferguson recently posted…5 Minute Friday: Listen
Thanks, Jen! I know how busy you are, so I am touched I am now on your list! Thanks for stopping by.
Twitter: adriennesmith40
says:
Hi Kim,
I wish my Dad was here so that I could do something for him but we were never big gift givers anyway. We did give great cards though and of course still do. We love to try to find the perfect funny one. It’s kind of a tradition in our family.
We always just get together usually for dinner and it’s the time spent together that always meant the most to us. I’d give anything to have just one more moment with him but I hope everyone else will do that special something with their Dads. Just know that they won’t be here forever so enjoy them while you can.
Thank you for sharing this, great rules indeed.
~Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted…How To Make A Good First Impression
Ah, humorous cards and meaningful experiences. You are definitely speaking my language! I agree: we never know how long we have, so it’s important to live and love to the fullest! Thanks so much for taking the time to come on over and share your thoughts.