Forgetting to be grateful: unmet expectations and Not-Skis

Merry, merry, Christmas, everyone!

So that I may spend more time with my family I am sharing a post from last year, written by my daughter Alexis.

As I wrote last year, she is cute, witty, and a terrific writer. Plus, she and her hubby are parents now, so perhaps this is a timely story as well of children who don’t always do what you’d like, especially sleeping straight through the night.

You can find Alexis sharing her heartwarming letters to her daughter, Natalie, at Happy Helmraths.

Just FYI for parents wondering if their children are hearing your messages of joy and gratitude—she and her sister weren’t always happy souls. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “Mom! You’re too positive. You’re too happy!”

Take heart, my fellow moms.

Your influence is in their hearts, ready to bloom at some point.

In honor of the holiday, Alexis is sharing a story on gifts, gratitude, and expectations from a long ago Christmas.

Growing up, my family experienced times when money was tight. My parents have always been extremely resourceful, however, and our Christmases never felt like they were lacking anything.

When I was around ten years old, my dad decided to make one of our bigger presents.

Since our family was a little short on disposable income and long on talent, he crafted and hand-painted a pair of stilts each for me and my sister.

Classic gift, right? Fun, challenging, got us out of the house – we must have loved them!

Well…eventually.

In the wee hours of Christmas morning, my sister and I crept downstairs to do a preliminary survey of what lay under the tree. And there, leaning against the wall and covered in a big bow, were two pairs of — ZOMG WE GOT SKIS!!!!!!!

We raced back upstairs and slept not one minute more.

Who could sleep at a time like this? We got skis!

When the cold, hard light of the morning revealed that we did not, in fact, get skis. . . well, I’m ashamed to say that we were less than grateful. There may have even been tears.

We did come to love the stilts. But in the moment, we were so fixated on the idea of skis that we didn’t leave room for any other possibilities.

There was no space for surprise, wonder, glee, and certainly not gratitude.

If my sister and I had either stayed in bed like we were supposed to (ha, yeah right!) or glanced at the stilts for more than three seconds, we would have seen them for what they were – a really cool gift that my dad put a lot of time, effort, and love into.

But instead, we caused ourselves (and our dad!) a lot of unnecessary distress.

Today I’m a bit older and ever-so-slightly wiser, and it’s easier for me to be grateful for the spirit in which a gift is given. It doesn’t always work, of course – I am human, after all – but it certainly does make the holidays that much more enjoyable.

Questions: Where can you make space in your life for gratitude? What expectations are you holding onto that stand in your way?

If you’d like to get to know a little more about Alexis, she appeared in my vlog for “If you give a child a choice”, an amusing look at what happens when a daughter pushes the limits because she doesn’t believe her mom will follow the new and agreed-upon plan for choices and consequences.

I will see you in the new year. In the meantime, feel free to check out the archives grouped in the links at the top of the page. If you haven’t read the most popular posts, you can find those to the right.

Thank you so much for being here. You have no idea how much I appreciate all of you!

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