I believe that happiness eludes folks for a variety of reasons.
I think one of the biggest, though, is not understanding one of the basic secrets of how to be happier: be generous.
While that may sound like a strange path to happiness, studies confirm what I call the generosity effect.
When you are feeling down and out, one of the best things you can do to turn your attitude and heart around is to commit an act of generosity.
Remember that being generous is about more than writing a check.
It’s about being unselfish with forgiveness, grace, understanding, time, experience, money, your home, and much, more more.
You may think you don’t have the time, money, or the personality to be generous.
That is not true, and I’ll tell you why: You are already practicing generosity, and probably don’t recognize it as such.
If you are married and/or have children, you are sharing your life, wisdom, support and joy with others.
If you work outside the home, you are called upon to assist others in some fashion for your business.
If you write, you are generous with your words to inspire, inform, or comfort.
Dr. Meg Meeker wrote about competition between mothers, and encouraged acts of kindness, otherwise known as generosity:
Doing kind things for others is always good, and acting kindly toward another mother with whom we compete helps our relationship and derails the desire to compete.
If there is another mother you know who just had her third baby and you desperately want another child but can’t have one, cook her a meal and bring it to her. If there is a mother who works outside the home in a job that you think is fabulous but you know you can’t have, ask to take her child to the park one day while she’s working. Perhaps there’s a mother whose kids are number one and two on the varsity tennis team at your son’s high school and your son can’t play any sports well because he’s, well, clumsy. Send her a note telling her how well her kids are doing.
In addition to helping joy flourish, these acts and others like it can be both a balm to your hurting hearts and water to the parched ground of your souls:
Being emotionally generous in marriage creates couples who are exceedingly happy.
Demonstrating generosity to your children teaches them to be unselfish.
Volunteering gives a tremendous boost to your spirits and to those whom you serve
If you are still not convinced, I highly recommend you start intentionally practicing generosity.
Like any other skill, it becomes easier and more natural every time you do it.
Not only will you bring smiles to others, but will feel more joyful yourself!
Here are some great resources to get you started:
- I Like Giving
- 10 Simple ways to become a more generous person
- 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life
- One Simple Act: Discovering the Power of Generosity
Generosity is not proportional to the size of your bank account but to the size of your heart.
Comment: Please share a memorable moment of generosity that you had, either as the giver or receiver.
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Twitter: themarriagebed
says:
Great thoughts. I wonder if my wife has heard about this generosity thing? 😉
Heh.
Great post! And so true! I remember one Christmas early in our marriage, Alpha Hubby, Son and I were pretty much flat broke. We decided that since Hubby was pastor at the nursing home on Sundays (at that time) that we would focus on bringing each person a small gift (at the time the “acceptable” gifts were things like lotions, socks, etc., in our price range). That was THE best Christmas we ever had because our pastor and church also decided to get involved so we were able to be generous. The people were so unbelievably grateful and we were so unbelievably humbled. It changed us all – and our focus on Christmas and gift-giving. Even to this day Alpha Son and his wife will take as many “name tags” off of a Christmas tree as they can (for giving gifts to the poor in the community). Being generous made us happy and was life-changing!
nan recently posted…Intimacy
What a testimony, Nan, and what a gift for your son as well as the folks in the nursing home! You have changed the lives of so many with this one act of generosity. Thank you so much for sharing this. I pray it encourages others and gives them hope, especially if they are in a difficult time!
The neatest thing is that it broke the cycle of thinking you had to have a ton of gifts under the tree and put the focus back where it belonged. We now try to focus outwardly during the holiday season to help those around us. And added bonus? We were never that broke again.
nan recently posted…Intimacy
Wow, just wow. You made my day, Nan, with your story. Thank you!