I love yard sales and the possibilities for treasures they contain.
There are the opportunities for meeting new people and holding fun conversations, too.
Whether the sales are here in Tennessee, New Hampshire, or elsewhere, however, one rule holds true:
If you want something, here is the secret to getting to yes: Use honey not vinegar.
Of course, this holds true for most any situation in life, not just for yard sales!
Many years ago, I worked for the family cabinetry business.
For a few summers, we held giant yard sales in the company parking lot.
Any of the approximately one hundred employees were invited to join us and sell their stuff alongside the kitchen cabinets and accessories we were selling.
As you can imagine, these events drew hundreds of shoppers because of the sheer size, the bargains, and our good reputation.
One year my dad appointed me as the Guardian of the Gate.
My job was to make sure that no one got into the sale early.
That was the year I experienced a full splash of a vinegary attitude.
As I manned the entry to the parking lot, a local wheeler dealer tried to walk around the barricade.
I smiled, stopped him, and told him we were opening at 8am. While we appreciated his excitement, we would love to see him come back at that time.
Until then, I further explained, we needed the time to finish setting up, and wanted to make everyone got an equal shot at the bargains.
Funny thing was, he took offense at my words.
He assumed I would jump at the chance to let him in almost an hour early, and then be equally excited to take his money when he offered us half of our asking price.
If you’ve ever held a yard sale, you know this type of buyer.
Obviously not being used to being denied, he turned on the “charm”.
First, he boasted about himself and how much merchandise he regularly bought and sold, and how people were grateful to him for taking their stuff off their hands.
When that didn’t sway me, he moved to bullying and belittling.
I maintained my pleasant but firm attitude throughout, and he finally threw in the towel.
Angrily stalking off, he spat out, “I am going to tell every single person I run into not to come here. You are so difficult to deal with! You’ll be sorry because no one will come to your sale.”
Apparently no one ever taught him the secret to getting to yes. 
A couple of years ago with an eye towards moving and decluttering the property, we held a huge yard sale with my folks.
The day before sale we were busily pricing and setting up.
A man drove up, got out of his car, and started eyeballing the vast expanse of goodies for sale.
I knew immediately he was a dealer, and he had come a whole day early!
Ugh.
Unlike that dreadfully behaving dealer from years ago, however, this one smiled and introduced himself as a dealer (most don’t).
He apologized for being there a day early and said he didn’t want to slow us down or overstep, as he knew dealers had a reputation as being pretty obnoxious.
He asked if it was alright to take a look around, and if not, he’d come back the next day.
We decided he seemed like a decent sort, so we said he could.
As he examined the antiques—his specialty—he shared helpful information and suggestions on values and pricing.
For example, my mom had an old Victrola, and the dealer asked us if it worked.
When we replied that we didn’t know, he asked if we’d like to see if and how it worked.
He pulled out a record from the accompanying collection, and we proceeded to listen to and laugh about a lesson from the 1930’s on How to Teach Your Parakeet to Talk.
We found ourselves feeling more open to him in return and happily said yes to his few small requests for purchases.
What are lessons here?
He was mindful his presence would slow us down.
He asked permission to look around.
He shared his gratitude when we said yes.
He came across as honest, decent, and upbeat using kindness, courtesy and good manners.
He was generous with his helpful information before asking the favor of being able to buy the day before the sale.
His primary focus was on helping and not hindering us, rather than on what he would gain from the encounter.
That is the simple secret of getting to yes: use honey not vinegar.
The good news is that not only will this get you more of what you want, but it will leave you feeling terrific and you will provide a great role model for others, especially your children.
Please share: How have you used honey to get to yes?
Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. – Benjamin Franklin
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